Dear Carson: Should a wedding gift be mailed to the home of the bride's parents whose return address is given on the back flap of the envelope?

Should the mailing label on the gift be addressed to the bride alone?

What happens if the groom is the one whom the gift-giver knows? - Gift Mailing Manners

Dear Manners: A wedding gift is mailed to the address on the back flap of a wedding invitation. Address the gift to the bride even though one's relationship is to the groom.

It is far better to mail a gift than to bring it to a reception, where it may be lost or stolen. However, it is preferable to bring a gift to a reception than not to give one at all.

Dear Carson: I will remarry in October. I am living with my fiance.

My bridesmaids gave a Jack-and-Jill shower for my fiance, my children and myself. We have been using hand-me-downs and are now looking at the beautiful things we received for the shower.

Is it OK for us to use the shower gifts now, or should we wait until after the ceremony? - Eager

Dear Eager: Why wait to use the gifts since you've not waited to live together before the wedding?

Good luck on your upcoming wedding.

Write to Ask Carson, The Augusta Chronicle, P.O. Box 1928, Augusta, GA 30903-1928. Send e-mail to askcarson@home.com. Carson Elliott's Web site is at www.theproperthing.com.